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Easy Money

Low Ah Chong left school at the age of 18 after completing his Chinese Senior 3. He picked up jobs here and there but was never able to stay long on any of them. At last the get rich quick idea flashed in his mind. He recruited two of his good friends, each possessed chivalrous manners, with good physique and personal charms. They appeared to be very honest too. By all means three of them put up with enough money to buy a block of gold worth USD80000.00.
The three of them spent their first day at the Carlton Hotel eating and drinking in the bar most of the time. After comprehensive survey they found an old man who was able to purchase the gold bars with cash.

Ah Chong introduced himself as an East Malaysia timber tycoon who was in the process of buying a piece of land at Kota Kinabalu worth USD1.8 millions, and that his father was in Montreal negotiating the opening of a five star hotel and therefore the bank in Kota Kinabalu was unwilling to release the money for the land transaction.

" It’s a pity the land owner could not wait until two days later. By then I’ll not have to part with the gold bars, " Ah Chong convinced the old man.

Puffing away the smoke, Ah Chong put the cigarette into the astray and pulled out a piece of gold bar from the trousers pocket, telling the old man it was worth USD8000.00, and that was the present for him from his father for Ah Chong’s last birthday. He claimed he had another 25 lengths in the hotel, each exactly the same as the other. As agreed, the bar was to be kept by the old man overnight. The old man stood up, made an excuse and went away telling Ah Chong he needed some time to make the decision. He went directly to a gold smith who confirmed that piece was genuine and was worth USD80000.00. He was very glad that stupid Ah Chong was willing to part with each piece of the bar for only USD 8000.00. He rushed back to the hotel to confirm the purchase of all the 26 pieces. It was agreed that the cash would be handed over the next afternoon.

Money was drawn from the local banks. Bundles and bundles of the 1000-dollar notes were nicely packed in a traveling bag. Before he fell asleep the old man wondered why Ah Chong wanted to part with the gold at a loss.

The following day afternoon, Ah Chong suggested that before they went to collect the other 25 pieces, they should celebrate the occasion with a feast. Since the old man did not object they again found themselves drinking and puffing at the Carlton. The old man got slightly dizzy. Ah Chong suggested that the money should be handed over at an isolated place so as not to attract unwanted attention because it was illegal to trade gold in the black market.

" If we’re caught, no one can help us," Ah Chong began to instill some fear and anxiety into the victim.

Ah Tee volunteered to collect the gold bars from the room upstairs and they took their rented car to the area behind the National Library. Alexandra stayed back giving the excuse he wanted to spend more time with his newly found Singapore girl. Before they reached the parking lot behind the Library, Ah Chong advised the old man to produce the gold bar he received yesterday so as to compare with the other 25 pieces.

" You never know, Ah Tee might be up to something," Ah Chong laughed heartily.
While the transaction was in progress, a man suddenly pounced from behind the bush shouting: Police! Police! Police! Ah Chong grabbed the genuine bar and dashed toward the bush. His member was waiting at the other side with a motorbike. Ah Chong jumped on the backseat and they speed of without looking back. Ah Tee who was holding the bag of money jumped on another motorbike few feet away. They headed towards the north. The shocked old man ran inside the library and hid in the level one male toilet. When the victim came to his senses hours later, he came home to inform his wife who suggested that it must be reported to the police because there was a slim chance that he money could be found at the cause-way or the airport.
At the Changi Airport, Ah Chong was still panting and shivering. He checked in and went to hide in the toilet until the last announcement was made calling passengers to board the plane leaving for Shanghai. The five hours trip was still very painful because he was still thinking that the Shanghai police might be waiting for him at the airport.

It was a great relief that he checked out smoothly. The taxi brought him to The St.Regis where his room was already booked. Ah Chong was expecting his share of the money within the next 48 hours. What he did not expect was that he had a guest waiting for him in his room. He was Alexandra’s son, Johnny. Ah Chong was putting his briefcase in the cabinet when Johnny pointed a pistol at him.

" What’re you trying to do?" the shocked robber asked.

" If I don’t kill you today, by tomorrow the other members will kill me."

"Please, Johnny, put away the gun. Let me tell you a good story."
Johnny was amused that a dying man still wanted to tell a story.

" OK. I’ll give you ten minutes," Johnny still pointed the gun at Ah Chong.
" You’re my son. I’m your biological father!"

" What? You take me to be a 3-year-old kid? That you cooked up a story like this that I can let you off and instead get myself killed?"

"No, I’m telling the truth. Let’s go for DNA test now."
"No way, if you walk out of this hotel alive I’ll be the one to die."
Johnny thought there was no harm in giving this poor bastard another ten or twenty minutes. So he agreed to the idea.

" In 1967, when I completed High School in Labuan, I came to Singapore for a job interview. I was given a first class ticket on board the ship Kemanis. The ship left Labuan one night at 2400 HR. I boarded the ship at ten p.m. I went round to talk to whoever was willing to talk to me. I found your mother, sleeping on the canvas bed on the deck. She was friendly. I invited her to sleep in my room, which was air-conditioned. She came into the room to talk to me. Your mum didn’t want to have sex with me. She was very firm. But she could not set free because I overpowered her. I forced her on the bed. I was lucky she did not shout for help. I would have been put in prison for that. After the first intercourse, we went to sleep. I woke up at 3 a.m. and against we had sex. Immediately after the breakfast at 8 a.m., again we had sex. The ship took three days to reach Singapore. We had sex more than 12 times. We were very much in love. But she told me she was married and that the husband was working in a timber camp, coming home to Singapore for rest only one month for every 12 months contract he had completed. She begged me not to visit her in Singapore because she did not want the affairs to leak out. I promised her and we didn’t contact each other for a long time until two years later when she phoned me up to say the boy she gave birth to was my son according the DNA carried out in Singapore. Please call your mum in Singapore now and let her confirm it."

" You silly bastard. I don’t buy this sort of cheap story," Johnny pulled the trigger three times. The casualty had three bullets in his chest and he died on the spot.

Johnny left the gun on the bed and went out, leaving not a trace whatsoever that the police can use to prove it was him who killed Ah Chong. Can you trust your gang members?

On the Singapore side, the police went to check the hotel. There were over 100 Malaysians checking out on that day. None of them had the name Low Ah Chong, Lau Ah Tee and Alexandra Lim. For Helen, even the surname was not known. Another two ladies who were in the photos from the security camera were from JB. The police cannot nail somebody unless there is hard evidence. There were hundreds of Malaysian girls crossing the causeway to spend the nights with the rich Singaporeans every day. They would leave early in
the morning at 6 o’clock to JB and continue their office work as usual. No wonder the JB gentlemen said the JB girls and fish were more and more expensive because of the influx of Singaporeans.

After two days of manhunt, Helen was identified. However the police could not go far because even Helen did not know much about the three gentlemen. She was more a one-night stand than a collaborator. And she confessed she thought Alexandra was her big catch.
End
( This story is good for 1.5 HR movie. Some of the scenes have been left out. If you're interested, please contact poh_tiong_ho@hotmail.com for the full version of the story.)



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Professional Swindler


Hundreds of pipes, each 20 metre long
with 300 mm dia were shipped in
Only about 45% of them are with the warranty certificates
The others were corroded pipes from contractors
who dealt with used pipes
These pipes cannot come with warranty certificates
The cunning project engineer who was the mastermind
worked out a smart plan
He deliberately shouted in the big common office
where they were about 60 other engineers,
managers and technicians
that he saw the original certificates
on Mr. So & So’s table
The truth was if this fraud
was ever discovered and the matter handed
over to the industrial crime department
he would be a free man
for he could tell the judge
he was the one who first raised the matter
You see, how a thief could plan such a frame
If the dishonest deal was successful
he would be able to buy a condo in India or China
He told the used pipes suppliers to
have the steel pipes galvanized
before they were shipped to the construction site
The truth was even painting couldn’t seal up
the pitted portions
It was a kid’s idea
Just like you want to seal up
the holes on your face with cream
As expected the plan went well
for some reason
Every thing was as planned
Every one was laughing his way to the bank
Used pipes passed off as perfect ones
Don’t you want to know how?


Copyright © 2001 Poh Tiong Ho

Please contact poh_tiong_ho@hotmail.com for details.


The Working Ghosts

The French bastards had their rig built
in the U.S.
They paid USD over 400 millions
They never said it was expensive
Now they build it
in Asia for only USD 340 millions
And they complain every day that
it is cheaper to have the rig built
in the U.S.A.
The above was the comment from the
Asian local manager.

***

The truth was
there were working ghosts
on board the rig.
Each worker on board has a brass left on the entrance
to the rig
But there were more brasses than workers !
The poor French paid for the workers who did not
turn up to work!

***
For some reason,
the client kept quiet for some time
A day came when the client could not
tolerate it any more
Each day two officers were stationed
at the entrance and exit
The contractors were paid for only
the number of workers who came in to work

***
This hurt the swindler intensely
He could not stand it any more
He blamed the China-men
For stealing the expensive valves,
the cheap piping gaskets, the bolts and nuts
and so on.
Many China-men were removed from the rig
His own brothers were recruited
This time there was no more China-men
to be the scapegoats
The truth was revealed
The big brother had to leave

***
So my friends
Beware, your enemies
may come from the most unexpected corner
Among your own brothers!

***
The same trick was done somewhere else
This time a few workers were given
Many cards to scan
They scanned on-behalf
of those who were working in other companies
Company A paid for these working Ghosts
The taking for these Ghosts would be shared
Among the managers, superintendents etc

***
Some employers thought they were smart
They placed machines that scanned the
little fingers
of the workers when they came in to work
and when they knock off for the day
Not knowing that Mr. A can come in
to scan the finger in the morning
goes to work for another company
on temporary basis
and return to scan his
little finger again
at 10.00 pm !

***

You may move to
the next company and continue your
fantastic tricks
How many times can you move ?
How long can you cheat ?
Isn’t honesty still
the best policy ?

( END )
Copyright © 2006 Poh Tiong Ho







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